If You’ve Just Begun Grieving

After cremations services, the most intense part of the grieving process will begin. If you have just begun to grieve after the death of a loved one, you may not know exactly what to expect. Your grieving process will be unique, but there are some things you will share in common with other people who are grieving the loss of their loved ones.

If this is the first time that you’re experiencing grief because a loved one has died, you may be surprised at how much darker, foggier, and scary the grieving process is than you may have anticipated. If you have grieved over loved ones who have died in the past, you may be surprised that it looks and feels different than you remember.

Grief is a changing landscape. It’s never the same twice. In some ways, every time you grieve a loved one’s death, it can feel like the first time, because grief is, in part, based on the uniqueness of our relationships with our loved ones and the different memories we carry of each of them.

One thing you may feel is that you are completely alone. However, you are not. While not everyone can be there for your entire grieving process, there are people who can and want to be there with you for parts of it. Let them join you as they are able.

There will be times, however, when you feel that your support group is letting you down or they are not there for you when you need them to be. It may be hard to remember that even though people want to help you and want to support you, but they aren’t professionals at providing all the things you need all the time.

However, if you do need something that you’re not getting, it’s important to remember that other people can’t read your mind, so you need to let them know in a polite, but straightforward manner. Don’t hint and hope they’ll get the message, because they probably won’t, and you’ll feel even more frustrated with them.

Don’t forget about the other grief resources besides your family and friends that are available to you. Your funeral home is very connected to the community, so they know what is available and can help you find professional counseling, grief support groups, and grief centers in the area.

You may be surprised – for the first time or again – that your old life before your loved one died is gone for good. You are on the road to a new and different life without your loved one. As hard as that can be to imagine and as uncomfortable as it may feel, it’s your new empty canvas to create and build upon.

The uncertainty of the unknown of a new life is perhaps one of the most challenging aspects of grief, but as time passes, things will begin to fall into place in a way that feels safer and more manageable.

Until they do, you’ll have to deal with the unruliness and unpredictability of the grieving process. There will be good days and bad days, hills and valleys, and mountains and caverns along the way. But through the grieving process, you will learn new things about yourself, grow in ways you can’t imagine, and secure the memories of your loved one in a special place of your heart forever.

Access to grief resources is one of the cremations services we offer, so you can depend on our compassionate and experienced team at Hopler & Eschbach Funeral Home to help you.