Offering Condolences After a Cremation

Offering condolences to a grieving family after cremations services is a critical part of making sure that they know they are cared for, supported, and loved by the people around them.

When you are offering condolences, it’s important to remember to not make what you say about you (as in, for example, “I’m sorry you lost your mom. When my mom died…” and then go on with a detailed story about how bad your mom’s death was for you).

Instead, the focus of your condolence needs to be on the people who have lost a loved one. If you have not experienced the same kind of loss (a parent, a sibling, a child, etc.), be careful not to tell the bereaved family members you know how they feel, because you don’t and saying this can be hurtful to them.

So, what kind of condolences should you offer?

First, you should let them know you are there for them. This may seem trite because people say this all the time, but they often don’t follow through by being there when they are most needed. And that is what you should communicate to the family in tangible ways.

Let them know that you want to help them out, whether you coordinate a meal chain, where people rotate dropping off meals for the family, run errands, clean, or do yardwork. Then follow through with what you have offered to do.

Next, let them know that you are available anytime they need to talk. Grief is a unique process for everyone and after the initial onslaught, there will be times when it comes suddenly, out of nowhere or triggered by something, and family members may just need to talk about it and have an empathetic person on the other end to simply listen.

Acknowledge their loss and express sorrow. It means a lot to a grieving family to know that their loss and grief is validated, and that people are expressing genuine concern and sorrow for what they are going through after the death of their loved one.

Even if you have experienced the same kind of loss as the bereaved family members, your experience in the grief process may not be the same or even similar.

Some families have complicated relationships, so when a family member dies, the grief gets complicated. Some family members may shut down and not even talk about it. Other family members may express anger and get upset very easily at everything. And still other family members may have regrets and, as a result, be very emotional, with a lot of crying.

The best way to acknowledge this is to tell them that you don’t know how they are feeling, but you’re there to support them and listen to them.

A great way to express condolences to a grieving family is to share good memories of their loved ones with them. They can be memories that you were a firsthand part of, or they can be memories that you heard about their loved one from someone else. There is something deeply consoling about hearing the positive impacts that a loved one who has died made on other people’s lives.

You are also giving the family a wider perspective on their loved one and may be telling them something they never knew about them, which will bring greater appreciation of their loved one in their own memories.

Assistance with offering condolences is among the cremations services we offer, so you can depend on our compassionate and experienced team at Hopler & Eschbach Funeral Home to help you.