What Should I Wear to a Funeral?

When attending funerals at funeral homes, we may not know what we should wear to the funeral service. We know funerals are a time to give our condolences to a family that’s grieving. We know that the viewing and visitation give us the opportunity to pay our respects to and say goodbye to the person who died. We also know that funerals are more formal services than many memorial services or celebrations of life can be.

But knowing all these things may not answer the question of what we should actually wear to a funeral. American culture has embraced dressing down even in former bastions of formality: corporations, churches, and weddings. So, it may seem like it’s okay to dress casually – even very casually – to attend a funeral.

This is a good place to step back and consider who the funeral is for and what its purpose is. The funeral is for the family who has lost a loved one. The funeral is a final tribute to the person who died. Therefore, how you dress for a funeral is really a sign of respect for the bereaved family and their deceased loved one.

If you’re unsure how that looks in terms of clothing, then go with the most conservative clothing you own. Black is the traditional color of mourning, but you can also wear clothes with muted colors like navy, brown, and gray.

For women, the best choices for funeral clothing are clothes that are understated and will not draw attention away from the grieving family and the deceased. Conservative dress includes a simple pantsuit or dress. If you’re wearing a sleeveless or short-sleeved dress, consider wearing a sweater or wrap to cover up your shoulders and arms. Make sure, as well, that the dress you choose is not form-fitting or very short.

Avoid wearing jewelry that is flashy. Simple earring studs, a small watch, and a wedding ring or engagement ring (if you’re married or you’re engaged to be married) are appropriate.

Choose shoes that are sensible, because you may be doing a lot of standing or walking when you attend a funeral. Avoid wearing high-heeled shoes and shoes with open toes, like sandals and flip-flops.

For men attending a funeral, the rule of thumb is to aim for business casual: nice pants (black, gray, dark brown, or navy), a light-colored dress shirt, and a blazer that matches the pants. While ties are optional, if you choose to wear a tie, make sure it is a plain-colored tie that matches your pants or blazer. A funeral is not the appropriate place to wear that cute Mickey Mouse or Pokemon tie that your children bought you for Father’s Day.

Jewelry for men should also be simple. A dress watch and wedding ring are acceptable, but avoid necklaces and earrings that draw attention to you, and away from the deceased and the grieving family.

Casual dress shoes are appropriate for men, but tennis shoes and other very casual types of shoes are not appropriate.

If you wear dress shoes, however, you need to make sure that they are not dirty or scuffed up. If they are formal dress shoes, you should make sure to shine them. If they’re casual dress shoes, you should make sure they look neat and presentable.

If you need guidance on what to wear to funerals at funeral homes, our empathetic and knowledgeable staff at Hopler & Eschbach Funeral Home can assist you. You can stop by our funeral home at 483 Chenango St., Binghamton, NY 13901, or you can contact us today at (607) 722-4023.